oh how i forget things! .. good that i forget..otherwise to move over past is not very easy. like miss havisham i can lay a pip's hand on my heart and say its broken. don't say nice things sweetheart..they are tragic now. ironical. they barely mean anything. having by now become empty. hopelessness? should i be hopeless? to fall is easy. i must not close the window. let the fresh air come in. madness is slowly seeping in. but i must rise. rise out of ashes. a phoenix. because that's what i am. i feel all. i allowed myself to feel. but do i really feel? if i decide to i can feel nothing. but would that be betraying you? violins don't play unless you don;t want them to play. or do they really play? everything is shaking..my bed..table books..vision..hands..room, and there is no sound. there is no language for true emotions. i will come out. like i did last time. i will forget.. like the last time.. like delicate tokens of rememberances memories get locked up in fluffy darkness. hurled down the abyss with tenderness and pain..remembered with a sense of estrangeness from the self.
should i hope sweetheart? this time i will. will you turn back?
yes you will. yes you will. yes you will.
sleep is already taking over me. its getting cold. should i close the windows?
i will forget soon.
no. i will smile. i will hope, because i know we are meant to be.
Oh yes! You guys are so meant to be. :)
ReplyDeletewhat a flow!! you got me tossing with you right to the abyss and back to the heaven
ReplyDeleteThis post made me cry! this is so very very beautiful! And I know exactly how you feel Hitesh! Loved every line! loved every word! U have lived every word u have said...So full of emotions! So true, so real,so touching! Hats off!
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